Tag: humor
group name: dorksrus
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March 14, 2008 10:42 PM EDT --
Tony had just finished his training session at the local McDonald's.
So he was a little nervous being behind the register for the first time. His first customer ordered a milkshake.
"Tony," . . .
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March 13, 2008 08:55 PM EDT --
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, "You can't take it with you."
After much thought and consideration, . . .
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March 13, 2008 09:11 PM EDT --
LOOKING GOOD
My face in the mirror isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn.
I think I might never put . . .
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March 17, 2008 12:15 AM EDT --
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet . . .
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March 06, 2008 02:58 AM EST --
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.' The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her . . .
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March 28, 2008 12:11 AM EDT --
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time.
At the roulette wheel, she says, "I have no idea what number to play."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her . . .
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March 06, 2008 02:53 AM EST --
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 a.m. and after 4 p.m. in Norfolk, Virginia.
. . .
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March 13, 2008 08:47 PM EDT --
It was a Ladies Only Night in the All Blonde Bingo Hall. The night had been pretty boring, not one single person had a BINGO all night.
The last game was up for grabs, with a huge bingo prize of . . .
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March 13, 2008 08:52 PM EDT --
During a taxi run, the crew of a U.S. Air flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
The irate ground controller (a female) screamed, "U.S. Air 2771, . . .
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July 11, 2008 12:40 AM EDT --
Convinced the human race is totally wacko? Here are some signs of the times in support of such a view. An example is the hotel-provided shower cap in a box labeled: "Fits one head."
Others . . .
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March 14, 2008 01:58 AM EDT --
An elderly looking gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well-looked-after image, . . .
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March 21, 2008 02:18 PM EDT --
My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.
"I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." . . .
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March 12, 2008 08:00 PM EDT --
Here are some words that are not yet in dictionaries, but might be someday:
1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period . . .
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March 12, 2008 07:53 PM EDT --
When you buy anything secondhand, make sure you have everything to make it go.
A small boy was pushing a gasoline-powered lawn mower down the street with a "For Sale" sign on it. As he . . .
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May 07, 2008 02:37 PM EDT --
While walking in the woods, Douglas saw a young fairy who had fallen into the river and bravely dived in to rescue her.
In gratitude, the fairy granted Douglas three wishes. He wished for a huge . . .
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May 23, 2008 09:02 PM EDT --
After watching a beautiful blonde walk by, a man says to God, "God, why did you make blondes so beautiful?"
God responded, "So you would love them."
"But God," . . .
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July 10, 2008 02:53 AM EDT --
Actual Classified Ads from various newspapers:
- Illiterate? Write today for free help.
- Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. . . .
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August 27, 2008 05:21 AM EDT --
Although these seem to apply mostly to men, a few of these have already crept into my life..... and I'm just slightly north of 50. Read 'em and don't weep.....have . . .
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May 01, 2009 03:37 PM EDT --
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if . . .
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November 11, 2007 05:00 AM EST --
What's the weirdest job you've ever had? Tell us about the job or a weird, wacky or wild experience you've had on any job.
My weirdest job was one I took out of a desparate . . .
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